The only thing uglier than pity is self-pity.
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11 comments:
I like it! :)
When there's no self-pity, you don't allow the pity to get to you.
Sharp!! It sounds like an Einstein comment!So much truth to it! keep going,SIR!
You are so right.
Hope you never get there...
I agree with self pity being ugly, but pity? you don't pity people? sick children arent pitiful?
MW, Exactly. I always say that it's hard to feel bad for someone who doesn't feel bad for him/herself.
Anonymous, I wouldn't say it's an Einstein line :-). In fact, I was so sure it's been said so many times, that I googled it before I posted it and there were no results. Thanks.
Devorah, I hope so too. I think I may have been guilty of it at some points but I hope this will serve as a reminder and a pressure to practice what I preach :-).
Anonymous, Funny that you say that because I've been thinking about the concept of pity lately. At first I was thinking that if I could, I would eliminate pity altogether (hey, a girl can dream :-)) but then what would happen with all the chessed that gets done because of pity? But, and this is the big but, when the pity does nothing but make the person being pitied feel even worse and uncomfortable to boot, it would be best to lose it. Pity is only a good thing when it serves a purpose. That's why it's not the ultimate ugliest thing.
SiR-you are so right when you talk about pity that is used to serve a purpose.
You know, I was thinking about this recently and I came to the conclusion that self pity comes from letting other peoples pity get to you and letting yourself get upset about the situation you are in.
I look at my older sister Chaya Sara, and I know that she is happy because she keeps herself busy doing the things she is most passionate about and doesn't let other peoples sad looks in her direction get to her. I know it hurts when they look at her that way "oiy nebach she's not married yet" but she knows that she's not a nebach at all!
I discussed this with her before my vort and one of the hardest things she said was that she knows she would be getting those looks. She was 100% happy for me and I know it! But when people look at a person that way, it hurts. It was harder for her to know that people are going to pity her than anything else at that time. She was really, really happy for me - yes, it IS possible! But that's what makes it so difficult, that she knew people will look at her in that way.
Don't let peoples pitying glances get to you! You have so much to be happy about! B"h you are healthy and capable of doing so much good and since it's not constructive pity (their looks/comments are not gonna send your guy knocking at your door!), it's totally pointless!
May people soon be looking at you with a good eye, happy for the good that you have and the things you do!
The only thing uglier than self pity is enjoying self pity. Tell me why it's so much fun to pity yourself! I guess because it doesn't take effort?
Devorah, You nailed it. Thank you for expressing that and thanks for your bracha. Amen!
iRiR, :-) Of course self-pity is enjoyable. It's a license to wallow in your sorrow. But it's totally unproductive, and in fact, quite destructive.
I don't know if I agree with you. Sometimes you're in a place where it's totally legitimate to feel some self-pity. Sometimes it's even a way of being kind to yourself.
Sad Jewish Girl: You might be right. Sometimes the self-pity creeps up on you and catches you unaware. And it's okay to feel the pain. But wallowing in self-pity is just not pretty and it serves no purpose, don't you think?
I agree. Sometimes self-pity acts like medication. But you don't want to overdose either.
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